Insomnia, Ulcers and a Side of Worry

"But the Lord answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.”
Luke 10:41, 42 (NASB)

I feel like this verse should say, "Mary, Mary, you are worried and bothered about so many things..." That's totally me. And it seems like lately this sentence has defined my life. In a previous article I related to this and about my need trust the Lord. But lately I have really realized that the enemy has  been using my areas of worry and anxiety as an all out attack on becoming the woman, wife and mother God has called me to be. There are days when I wonder, "Am I the only person on earth that worries and has anxiety this much?" A lot of days I feel like a failure as a Christian because I worry and fret so much. I have come to terms with the fact that this is something I have to battle in God's strength to overcome.

Maybe you're thinking.... "It's probably not as bad as she is making sound..."
Well, I wish I could say that is true; but it's not. One of the reasons I started this blog is so that I could take the "Mask" off that we so often put on to cover the difficulties that we face, the trials we have to deal with and the daily battles that plague so many of us. So I'm being completely real. I worry about EVERYTHING. I worry about what people are thinking, I worry about what they're NOT thinking, I worry about my toddler constantly, I worry about my husband's health, our future, our finances, my decisions and how they affect me and others, my dog, what I cooked for dinner, the lunch meat sitting in the fridge (is it still good?), whether or not I offended someone, is that girl mad at me because she gave me a weird look, maybe that person doesn't like me because they passed me by without saying hi. And that's just the tip of the crazy, anxiety, iceberg! I could seriously make a list long enough to cover two blogs. :)

In October we went on a beautiful vacation as a family. But before we even left, I was worried. Worried that satan was going to use my worry issues to destroy our vacay. Sounds pitiful right? Well, because I was so worried that the enemy was going to attack, guess what? He did. And from two days before we left until the day we got home I was worried. Worried that every hotel we stayed in had bedbugs, worried that something bad was going to happen to people back at home, worried, worried, worried. And let me tell you; it wasn't as fun as it was meant to be. And I allowed the enemy to, once again, "steal" valuable time with my hubby and toddler.

Can you relate? Has something happened to you recently that  you're losing sleep over? Maybe that person gave you a weird look, maybe someone asked you to meet with them to talk and you're fearing the worst? Are you afraid of your failing finances, weakening health, inability to have a child, lack of friendship, not feeling "up to par"? I'm sure you have a few things on your list right now. Maybe worry and anxiety is something you deal with regularly or maybe it's something that hits you only from time to time.

"Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you."
1 Peter 5:7 (NIV)

I love that translation of 1 Peter 5:7. God literally wants us to CAST all of our anxiety on Him...

The definition of cast is: throw (something) forcefully in a specified direction.

WOW! I love that... God wants us to throw our anxieties on Him. Not just casually toss them His way.

The definition of care is: feel concern or interest; attach importance to something.

Isn't it amazing to know that God truly cares about every single worry, fret, frustration and anxiety you are facing right now? He thinks it's important and He is concerned about it. I mean, I think sometimes we feel like God is up there too busy to care about the little tiny things we face every day. And sometimes we think that God doesn't care that we're down here getting an ulcer and biting our nails at 2am. But in reality, the Bible says that He really CARES. He wants to help us! And we have a direct command to THROW all of those cares on Him.

Have you ever noticed that most of the things you worry or have worried about never actually turned out the way they would? I could give you about 25 stories right now of times when I was "convinced" that a particular situation was going to turn out a particular way and guess what? It didn't. As soon as I gave it to God; He always worked it out and everything was totally fine. I forget that so easily!

I'll give you an example and you can see if you relate...
My son woke up one morning with three mysterious red bumps on his shoulder and they didn't seem to be going away. We had been planning a short weekend getaway as a family and I just "knew" that these bumps were going to have to cause us to cancel the trip. They just "had" to be chicken pox, mumps or measles. I was convinced. I promptly made a call to the doctors office and we were in the very next morning. Guess what? It wasn't any of the things mentioned above. It was three bug bites. Easily treated and easily gone withing a week or so. And we didn't have to cancel our trip; in fact, we had a wonderful time.

Like I said, I could give you 25 stories like that. But I will save you the drama. :)
To sum it all up: I daily need God's strength, help, encouragement and peace. I believe that worry and anxiety are quite possibly a "thorn in my flesh" that I'm going to daily have to rely upon God to help me with. I'm definitely trying and I haven't thrown in the towel. I know that Jesus commands us not to worry and I realize by continuing to worry; I'm sinning. And I don't want to be in any type of ongoing sin. And I'm sure you don't want to be either.

I love the following verses in Philippians and have committed them to memory so that I can be armed with God's Word every time I get attacked with fear, anxiety and worry. I encourage you to memorize them as well...

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything be worthy of praise, dwell on these things."
Philippians 4:6-8 NASB

Next time you are faced with any type of worry, anxiety or fear remember to throw it straight to God. He cares about whatever it is: big or small. He will help you! And more than likely it won't turn out anything like what you worried it would.